Reading Log #1 Before I Fall

The book, Before I Fall takes place in a small town in Connecticut. Sam, or Samantha, is the typical ‘cool’ girl. Her and her friends, Ally, Elody and Lindsay make fun of the outsiders in school, and they can do whatever they want, because no matter what they do they’ll always be part of the ‘cool’ crowd. One of those ‘outsiders’ in school is Kent – who Sam actually falls in love with throughout the book - and I would like to be friends with him because he doesn’t care what other people think, he just does his own thing – and he never stops smiling while doing it. I would really like to be friends with him, because maybe he could teach me how to gain that much confidence. On their way home one day from just another party, Lindsay’s cigarette bud falls onto her leg – and in an instance she loses control of the car. The next thing Sam realizes is Lindsay screaming something, and then suddenly she remembers just one thing. One day in third grade, Sam and Lindsay were picking on this girl for wearing weird clothes, and the girl’s face turned purple with rage. Sam thinks of how weird it is that she just thought of that one scene in her life so long ago, when she wakes up to the sound of her alarm clock. Sam sits up in bed – surprised at how incredibly vivid her dream was, and notices that the date is what it was ‘yesterday’. After going through the day exactly how it was in her dream, Sam realizes that she is stuck with reliving that one day over and over again. She comes to the conclusion that she must be lying in a coma in some hospital. The book describes Sam’s journey of trying to relive that one day correctly so she can finally ‘wake up’ in a hospital…because she’s in a coma…isn’t she?
When I was reading, I could clearly visualize the scene when Sam wakes up in her bed, and her little sister runs up to her and gives her a hug, and speaks to her with a really cute lisp. The author used a lot of imagery to describe this particular scene, and I can perfectly imagine how her little sister speaks, and the too small pajamas she always wears, and how she clings to Sam’s neck like she’s never going to let go. Even though this story plays in a typical high school, I have trouble really connecting with any characters in the story, of course I can relate to some minor scenes – but not the characters themselves. I think that is because the author has created characters that are very contrasting to each other – so they all have very extreme characters. The character I could still relate to the most is Sam; she tries to make the best of the days that she has left, because she slowly comes to terms with the fact that she might be dead, instead of in a coma. I know how that feels, of course not the extreme extent that Sam must be feeling it with, but I know what it’s like to try and make the best of the time you have left with certain people, and that it feels like time is trying to go faster on purpose just when you are trying to make it last. When I leave a place to go move somewhere new, I have to say goodbye to my friends, and I know I won’t be able to see them for a few more years. Sam feels that just like me – but in a much more severe way. There are a lot of parts in the book when the author describes how Sam and her friends make fun of some ‘losers’ in their school, since I have never been in a school with real ‘cliques’, I don’t know what it is like to be in a situation like that. Some characters are described as being really very mean, and they do horrible things to the other characters. To me that is just foreign, because I have never really experienced someone ganging up on someone else that much.
Apart from imagery, the author also uses a lot of foreshadowing. Since Sam doesn’t know for sure how much time she has left in the world, she tries to cram in as many good deeds as she possibly can. The author uses foreshadowing to hint at which activities Sam will do next. For example, the author actually uses alliteration to exaggerate the scenes when Sam sees her little sister, because it is described in detail what emotion and sadness Sam feels, and how strongly she is going to miss her sister. That hints to the reader that Sam will definitely do something memorable with her in the time she has left. Even though the whole book is fiction, and the idea of coming back to life is not possible, the fact that the characters are down to earth add a lot of realistic elements to the book. I think the plot is actually believable, because Sam’s decisions are not perfect, but absolutely realistic, and also the setting of the book is just like any other town – all of this together makes the book believable despite the fact that it is fiction. There are other fictional books with completely unrealistic ideas – like coming back to life – that are still written in a realistic and believable way, for example the Twilight series. In the Twilight books, the idea of werewolves and vampires is completely foreign and unrealistic, but still overall the books are in a real setting and the characters have believable personalities and qualities.
At the part in the book I’m at right now, Sam has come to the conclusion that she really is dead, but she has to finish off her life in a positive way, so she’s just trying to figure out how. I have an idea how she will accomplish that, and up to now she seems to be following a similar plan. I think that she will definitely figure out what the ‘right’ way is to end her life – and I think it will have something to do with saving the life of this other girl in the book that is on the verge of killing herself. She keeps on trying to save the girl – but the girl always succeeds in killing herself despite Sam’s best efforts. I have a feeling that the only way Sam will succeed is to throw herself between the car and the girl – thereby pushing the girl out of the way, but also forcing Sam to put all her faith into her theory of already being dead. If I could jump into the story right now – I would like to witness not a main scene, but rather one insignificant scene were Sam is standing outside in her garden, looking at the sky – and it’s snowing. I absolutely love it when it snows, because the whole world seems to become quiet as the snowflakes drift down from the sky, so I would really enjoy the wonderful simplicity of being able to stand outside in the snow. That scene reminds me of my garden in my house in Austria, because my family and I always go there in the winter, so I automatically associate snow with it. The whole book is written with a lot of detail, and it keeps the reader entertained with its unique story line.